By way of dark epilogue to the letter I posted here this morning, which seemed the very essence of clarity and sanity, I get the sense tonight that we've sleepwalked into the abyss. A sense compounded by finally - without thinking of any connection - settling down on a rare evening home alone to watch Luis Buñuel's The Exterminating Angel, which I've had sitting around ready to view since I saw Adès's opera on the subject in Salzburg.
And what do I see (what did I know I was going to see, without making the connection to begin with)? A group of well-heeled people - some sophisticated, some not - unable to leave a dinner-party for no apparent reason. Wearing themselves out and in some cases succumbing to death because of some inexplicable paralysis.
And then I think of the somnambulistic act of self harm in the Commons tonight and have to suspend viewing. Only 20 per cent of the Labour Party willing to stave off the biggest disaster the UK has faced in my lifetime? Once again, please note Andy Slaughter's observation in the previous post that this was 'the final chance to influence not just whether but on what terms the UK left the EU' And next I see that the insane American cabinet is making ultimatums to Iran that could lead to war in no time. We knew it in principle, but THERE IS NO DIPLOMACY in the White House. Sorry, but unless it's stopped, we're all f****d by this. (One brief, bitter laugh on the subject: did you know that primeval slime Steve Bannon once wanted to make a film of Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus set in outer space? What terrible thing happened to that creature and at what point in his life?)
How could it all have got so far? Is this the end? Time to go and sleep on it. It's just all too much right now. Tired of trying to rationalise it and to argue with the opposition - strangers, not friends. Withdrawal is once again the only option for keeping one's balance. However long it takes. Even clear and brilliant speakers like Ken Clarke talk of plunging down the rabbit hole. Well, let's leave his 17 minute speech here as a last throw of sanity. And then tomorrow is another day.
In the meantime, any wise or helpful words anyone else may have to offer on the subject - usually an invitation to silence - would be very welcome.
Update (2/2) - the next morning Amazing what a good night's sleep can do. But I need to take my own advice, limit the time on LinkedIn, get more exercise (not easy when the weather's so dull and/or wet). Good quotation about self-preservation being part of the fight from Audre Lord among the ones here. And good ol' Peanuts has a fine philosophy too: